Letters of Love

While going through the family archives I have discovered countless treasures. Foremost amongst these were the love letters written by my Great-Great Uncle Winston to his wife Edna. I can not share them in their entirety but I want to offer a little glimpse of their loving relationship. Maybe it will help unlock some of the mystery of that wonderful thing we call love.

In their decades long correspondence Winston never referred to his beloved Edna by name. Instead Winston called his wife by endearing, and occasionally bizarre, pet names. These ranged from playful ("sugar-bottom") to truly romantic ("my one  and only love") to somewhat confused ("my adonis"). Mostly though Winston used those intimate little names that clearly only had meaning to he and his wife, such as " my sweet, sweet Bob" or, his favourite, "Dr. Robert Townsend." 

Ultimately, I was surprised to find their childless marriage was so passionate. On the surface it was apparently devoid of any emotion and Winston even wrote in his diary that Edna "is a cold, dispassionate woman whom, by her very nature, is unequipped to provide the love I need." Still it is hard to argue they were not in love, especially after one reads the following excerpt from one of Winston's letters, "My dearest Bobby Boy [Edna], I can not wait to be once again in your rugged, [wo]manly embrace; to run my hands through your thick mane of chest [head] hair; to feel your bristly moustache pressed against my face; to grip your throbbing..." I can not share the rest because it is personal and, frankly, reveals Winston's rather confused understanding of female anatomy. In any case the two were clearly in love otherwise Edna would not have tolerated a reference to her moustache, something she was very self-conscious about.

My Great-Aunt Marge used to say that Winston was a strange man ("Queerer than a three dollar bill!" were her exact words) and I guess that is why he had such trouble openly expressing his love for Edna. As a result he mainly conveyed his feelings through his letters. That is not say he never did so in public, just that it was rare. Their wedding, for example, was said to be a very tender and loving ceremony. Winston's best man was apparently so moved by the sight of them kissing that he screamed out "I can not bare to watch this travesty" before running from the Church in tears. If that's not true love than what is?

Sadly, the love story of Edna and Winston ended when she unexpectedly passed away. Winston lost his mind shortly after her death and in his madness continued to write her, begging her to come join him now that he was "free." It got so bad that Winston's best friend finally moved in to look after him. 

Love is a strange thing and sometimes we do not appreciate it enough when we have it. Winston could never express his feelings openly and when he lost his love he must have realized all those missed opportunities to do so. That is probably why he lost his mind. Still I envy Winston. His love for Edna made him a very happy man. He was so happy that my Great-Aunt Marge used to say, "I never said he was happy. I said he was gay. As in homosexual. You want me to draw you a picture? You dumb piece of..."

Yes love is a mystery indeed. I will never claim to understand it. I guess all I can do is leave you with some words from Winston on the subject:

"Love, Robert, is impossible to explain but I know that once you have it you must be gentle with it, for it is a delicate thing, and you must also hold on to it with a firm grasp, because there is nothing more precious. It is not unlike last night when I was gently holding on to your..."

Okay, that's probably enough for now. Remember, love is beautiful mystery!